In the old days, it was my car which fell to bits: now it’s me. Shakespeare, of course, knew all about this, even though he didn’t live long enough – I don’t think – to need false teeth. I forgot to put my own in the other day when I went to meet a newish friend. She took my apology in her stride: was only sorry she couldn’t lend me hers . . .
I am reminded of another spare-parts story: well, not actually spare, for when Ilsa (see below) found that her friend, Diana – guest speaker at some grand occasion – had arrived without her hearing aid, she lent her hers, and sat through the entire event without hearing a word.
Ilsa Yardley and Diana Athill
Yet another sign of true friendship was the parcel which arrived when I had pneumonia last year and all the coughing made me (temporarily, thank heavens) incontinent. Posted by a friend who lived too far away to visit, it had in it some frilly white padded knickers.
It’s lucky, of course, that when we are young, we don’t know about incontinence pads and Old Age Spots*, and not being able to reach one’s own feet, as there is nothing we can do to avoid getting old, except dying first. As it happens, though, I am more clued in than most, as my best friend used to be a geriatric social-worker and is still familiar with all the paraphernalia of old age: the things to help us see and hear, the things to hang on to, the things to help us put on our socks.
And I have learnt for myself, what she told me long ago, which is that no one changes inside. In my eighties now, I am still surprised that I can drive a car and keep track of my bank account: such grown-up things to be able to do!
So, hobbling along on a bad foot (‘weak’ not ‘bad’ I have been told to say) worrying about thinning hair and needing the telly on a bit louder than I did before, I enter old-lady-normal-land from which there is only one exit, and I am in no hurry to reach it.
• Seborrheic keratosis: a crusty version of Liver Spots (aka Senile Freckles) and just as harmless. But, oh for the time when acne and sunburn were the only ills the flesh was heir to . . .