ESTHER MENELL'S BLOG

Month: January 2017

ON TRYING TO TAKE ONE’S OWN ADVICE . . .

For the thirty years I worked as an editor – a job which could be described as being a Book Doctor, but a doctor whose duties don’t end with caring just for the book but also for the person who wrote it – I would tell authors crushed by bad reviews to ignore them unless they felt the reviewer had made a valid point, in which case best to take it on board.

Well, as an author myself and recipient of a less than friendly review in a journal so prestigious that everyone told me I was lucky to be there, I realised this is more easily said than done.   I would not prefer to be there.  I would rather have had a few friendly words in a parish magazine than that rambling put-down in a journal with a world-wide circulation.

Image: © OK David

In a vain effort to follow my own advice, I tried to ignore the review after deciding (as so many authors in the same situation have done before me) that there was nothing to be learnt from it, but the next step was even less easy to take.

Even if – in my estimation – the reviewer had it all wrong, it still rankled.   Who was this person who had taken such a dislike to me and my poor book?   Why hadn’t they handed it back to the Literary Editor and said it wasn’t worth reviewing (as my friend Diana Athill does, if sent a book in which she can find nothing to like)?

Pondering this question led me, inevitably, to the www (not available to my authors, as I retired more than twenty years ago) where I discovered that the person who could find nothing of merit in my book had been on the permanent staff of the offending journal. I began to fantasise about their state of mind.  I even began to sympathise, having had very rough treatment from my own employer.  Ah yes, I thought: here is someone being given the occasional unimportant book to review to make up for past wrongs . . .

The next step, was to moan to friends – writer friends – every one of whom came up with similar stories and one of whom said she knew the reviewer, who was a very nice person but literal-minded and with not much sense of humour.  Both these qualities (or lack of them) figured.  By no means all my friends had liked my book, which made me like them no less:  we need the literal-minded, and a sense of humour often indicates a cruel streak.  Nevertheless, it was bad luck for mine to have been given to that particular reviewer and I wish that he had taken Diana’s line and turned the job down.

But, of course, to quote the Pub Landlord ‘It is Much More Complicated than That: reviewers get paid and not everyone can afford to turn work away.   Even so, the system provides fertile ground for an abuse of power where the writer is at the mercy of someone who may simply have got out of bed on the wrong side, or happened (in the case of a memoir) to have liked someone the writer doesn’t like.

There is, of course, a way round this for the writer.   No one can make anyone read a review and there are those who, like my own husband, avoid them altogether.  He has never read the two-page diatribe in a long-ago London Review of Books in which he was accused of not knowing how to write English.  My ‘bad review’ wasn’t anything like as fierce as that, nor as far off the mark.

Of course, it goes without saying that reviewers must be free to write whatever they like, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t wonder why so much space is given to reviews which deter readers rather than sending them out to the nearest bookshop.

Many thanks to OK David for use of his image, originally drawn for the Hatchet Job of the Year Award.  See more of his work at www.okdavid.com.

THE THING ABOUT DOGS

Of course, not everybody likes them. Some people prefer cats. My friend Jane wore her cat round her neck like a comforter; as for my erstwhile friend, Andrea Newman – one of whose characters remarks that friends are like pot plants: both have short lives – her kitchen, was festooned with litter trays, no more objectionable to her than are a baby’s nappies to a doting mother.

But, for us, it has always been dogs, starting with the little mongrel bought at the local pet shop the day after my then husband moved out.

Patch

Patch, for so we named the puppy, remains for my son and me the dog of dogs, a paragon of doggy virtue, and he gave us immeasurable pleasure. We still remember the day he jumped out of the car window when we were stuck in a traffic jam on the way to the seaside, and his dazzling smile when we opened the front door to let him in after his trips to the dustbins on the local estate. We knew so little about dogs then that we used to let him out on his own. His cast-iron stomach and happy temperament kept him with us for eighteen years, a longevity also, and more surprisingly, achieved by Topsy, who came next: a sweet-natured, neurasthenic Australian Terrier, whose owners didn’t want her because her legs were ‘too long’. Topsy was shaking life a leaf when I met her and for weeks never left my side. She did not seem long for this world.

With Topsy

I hadn’t thought Jean Rhys had long to live either, when I met her at the door of that wretched little bungalow in Cheriton Fitzpaine. I had been sent down to try and get her novel out of her: the novel that became The Wide Sargasso Sea.  But, like Topsy, Jean was a survivor. Frail and neurotic though she was, her glory years were still ahead.   As for Topsy, it was not until she started bumping into the wall and circling the table legs in advanced dementia that we stopped spoon-feeding her chicken and rice (her diet for her last five years) and accepted it was time to let her go.

That should have been the end of it. We were no longer young and we were also spending part of every year on a sheep farm. But fate (in the person of Ira Moss of All Dogs Matter) intervened and, before long, we had adopted a stumpy little Patterdale terrier with no social graces but a big, big heart. More important still, she had been trained by the farmer who raised her and then, alas, died on her, not to chase sheep.

We only had Choci for eight years. The animal hospital reckoned that she was probably quite old when we got her.   But what spirit!   What speed! The rabbits on the North Yorkshire moors were getting a run for their money.

And the greed!   For months after she died, I was still moving all edible food out of reach. She had jumped up onto the kitchen table and downed a bowlful of radishes, scattered the kitchen waste bin all over the floor to achieve quite a respectable ‘installation’, and also eaten an entire box of chocolates, without suffering ‘muscle tremors, irregular heartbeat, internal bleeding, or a heart attack’.

But even Choci, though she was built like a little tank, wasn’t indestructible and one day her back legs gave out. It was only thanks to a wonderful man-and-wife team who live near Bridlington and fitted her with the made-to-measure contraption seen below, that we had her cheerful company for another two years.

Choci on her wheels

But nothing lasts for ever and nor did Choci, now buried in that Yorkshire farmyard. But we never forget her and she and the whole doggy tribe were brought to mind the other day when I heard from a prisoner friend – 30 years into a 68 year sentence – that he has become part of a dog programme in the not-quite-so-high-security American prison to which he was recently moved (a feisty Scotsman with the nerve to take on the Aryan Brotherhood) for his own safety.

Tom’s description of the relationship that develops between the prisoners and their dogs – ‘ I have seen many an otherwise cold hard man sink to his knees voicing nonsensical babble while a tail swishing dog licks the smile from his face’ – and his conclusion, for the dogs are released for sale to the public when they have been successfully retrained, moved me to tears. ‘As each dog is set free, a part of me is freed with it.’

If only we could be as loyal, trusting and non-judgemental.

That’s the thing about dogs.

WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT

I can’t think when I last came across this antiquated phrase but it is what kept going round in my head as I read Waldemar Januszczak’s beastly piece (only schoolyard language is appropriate) about John Berger in a recent Sunday Times supplement.

I was never a Berger groupie, as many of my friends were – not serious enough about the things he was serious about – but good manners alone should have stopped him in his tracks. You don’t slag off the recently dead, however much you may resent their success as Waldemar Januszczak so clearly does: not only as a thinker, writer and telly personality but – perhaps more grating still – as a man unusually attractive to women. No doubt, Waldemar would enjoy lecturing to a ‘harem of female devotees’.   What man wouldn’t?

Well, my own husband, for one. I remember his lecturing with his usual animation to an audience of three, having insisted on giving a course on Flamboyant Gothic at the Architectural Association when some of the best teachers – let alone students – showed no interest in medieval churches.

But, back to Waldemar who we gave up on as a TV presenter the very first time we saw him.   Like so many presenters (although few are as bulky) he kept getting in front of the work he was describing; but when he actually fell to his knees to examine a map – he looked as if he was about to eat it – we gave up on him for good.

If that sounds mean, look at his article in which he makes constant fun of Berger’s lisp. To quote: ‘I adore Rubens, but giggle at Woobens.’

How is that for serious journalism?

THE OWL OF MINERVA . . . OR COMING BACK TO BOOKS

For years, I was the only person I knew who would have nothing to do with computers. Then at a meeting of some charity, at which all the volunteers were my age or older, it transpired that I was the only person who had to be contacted by post. I pulled myself together and, for the last ten years or so, the computer has swallowed up my life.

I have spent hours and hours — adding up to days and days — looking up things that I don’t really need to know and, compulsively, answering e-mails (checked many times a day) the moment they arrive.

It took Donald Trump and a week beside a rushing stream to cure me.

When we set off for Wales I wasn’t able to leave the wretched thing behind, because I need it to write anything — even a message for the milkman. I can no longer depress the keys of my old typewriter, or read my own hand-writing; but I did promise myself that I wouldn’t open any e-mails, or look anything up, or even listen to the News.

And I didn’t. The constant quiet roar of the stream replaced the News which had lost all relevance and it was surprisingly easy to not press the mail icon, and not to look up every stray reference in the book I was reading (which was Frances Wheen’s biography of Karl Marx, bulging with possible ‘leads’). What did it matter if the only thing I would ever know about Hegel were these heart-stopping words: ‘The Owl of Minerva spreads its wings only at dusk.’

If the author of a book thinks we need to know something, he will tell us. And if we are completely at sea, we are not the right reader.

Anyway, who needs to know what everyone looks like and where they come from and whether (a quirk of mine) they are Jewish or not . . . ?

Unlike most addictions, this one was easy to break. It only took a few days free of the world-wide web to remind me how very much better life had been before. I had realised, just in time (I turned 82 during that week in Wales) that I had lost two precious childhood skills: I could no longer write legibly but, more important by far, I had forgotten how to get lost in a book.

As for the News. It could wait till we got back to London.

ALIVE, ALIVE OH!

I wonder how many of the silver-haired ladies who applauded Diana Athill with such enthusiasm during her recent appearance at London’s JW3 cultural centre would have welcomed her helping herself to their own husbands . . .

Alive, Alive Oh! (the title of one of Diana’s most recent books) was one of the last events in the Ham & High week-long book festival, and the hall was packed.  It was also stiflingly hot.  A thoughtful person invited us all to disrobe, in so far as we could, before the talk began.   I peeled off my socks.

Most but by no means all of the audience was my kind of age, which is to say, old — but not quite as old as Diana, with whom I had shared an office for more than twenty years — and it was almost entirely female. I expect that for many of them it was the first time they had seen and heard Diana ‘in the flesh’.  They would not have been disappointed.

For a start, there was no ramp, so this fearless nonagenarian — as we were to learn, even Death does not frighten her — had to clamber from her wheelchair onto the platform. Completely unfazed, she even managed to make a joke of it, which had the audience — in sympathy and admiration —  eating out of her hand:  as did the reading which followed.

She had chosen a short chapter which describes her re-awakening to the joy of sex when, abandoned by her fiancé and convinced that her life was over for ever, she met a tall, handsome army officer, and found that it wasn’t.

And so began Diana’s long career as The Other Woman.  For the officer was married.

With characteristic honesty, Diana went on to tell us that if she could have broken up this marriage, she would have but, in retrospect, remains grateful that she didn’t find herself the wife of a schoolmaster — albeit a public-school master — for that was the glamorous office’s role in civilian life.

From then on, blooded, as it were, by that first life-affirming affair, she went on to others: her many liaisons carried on so discreetly that wives were unaware of their husband’s infidelities and their marriages remained intact.

The candour with which Diana, richly elegant in old age, recalled her colourful past was awesome.  Not a trace of guilt.  And this though she has had so many lovers that she counts them, not sheep, to get to sleep!

As we filed out of the auditorium, I couldn’t help wondering how many of the women in the audience were feeling, as I did myself — momentarily — that we had been missing out by being married.  Or were they quietly hoping a Diana had never happened to them — for how could they be sure? — and would never happen to their daughters.

The one thing I can be sure of is that no one had been bored.

NOT A BRITISH NATIONAL

For ten years or so, I have been keeping in touch with a young Gambian, met when I was holidaying in his country.   Not long ago, he gave up trying to make a living as a birdwatchers’ guide because Ebola had decimated the tourist industry, rented a plot of land and began to grow water melons, with the dream of having a market stall or even a little shop, where his wife would sell them and other ‘daily basics comodeties’.

I admired his enterprise and shared his excitement as the first shoots began to appear, but have been so obsessed with Trump and Theresa May and the disappearance of a Labour Party, that I had not noticed what was going on in the Gambia, so to read this, in an e-mail the other morning, was more of a shock than it should have been.  I quote:

I hope you might hear what is going in the Gambia because you are current on the news any way people scared shoulders are all over the country with heavy weapons it look like they are ready to fight and Senegal is saying if he say he is not going to give up they will flush him out by force people even started to evacuate there families to Senegal in my village every day people are living their compounds to Senegal very few are left in my village . . . . *

Thinking that, before acting, I should get a clearer idea of what is going on, and that I needed to do this fast, as communications could break down entirely, I googled the British Embassy website and rang a number which seemed appropriate: if you are concerned about a British national in The Gambia . . .

Of course, Ebrima is not a British National, but I still did not expect to get no further than the switchboard. Was there really no one available to comment on Gambians leaving their compounds and fleeing to Senegal . . . ?

Apparently not.

But how could I give up on Ebrima who told me he was going to name his first child after me, long before he knew its sex!   Happily, the first of his three children was a girl, or there would now be a little Muslim boy called Esther in that Gambian village, or perhaps already on his way to Senegal

 

* Ebrima owes his remarkable command of English to the local Islamic Institute where he received his education.